Friday, August 10, 2012

What to do when people change?

It's a fact of life, people change, things never stay the same no matter how much you either want or do not want them to.  Eventually nothing is static.  This never makes it easier to deal with.

I've lost someone who I considered my best friend.  Nothing bad happened between the two of us, and no one moved, things just changed and that is that.  It's strange the way things happen.  At first you don't even really realize it, then you think it is just a phase, and then there are all these in between steps as well.  I don't really know how to explain it.  Then one day all of a sudden it just hits you like wow, things are really different now and they are probably never going back to how they used to be.  It sucks and there really isn't a way to prepare for it.

I still feel like I'm some kind of weirdo that never had a "best friend" growing up and always had that person be there for you no matter what from childhood until well...forever I guess.  I've gone through stages of having really good friends and then loosing touch and then making new ones.  It's really hard to connect back with the old ones after a while I find.  While I look forward to making new friends (as I'm sure it will come) I'm just not ready to let some go.  But the problem is the more I try the worse off I feel.  Recently I've just stopped trying altogether.  It makes me feel awful but I don't really know what else to do because I feel trying and trying and trying while receiving nothing in return is even worse.  There is only so much you can take of: let's go to the bar: no | Let's go to the gym: no | Let's hang out: no | Let's go out: no | Let's grab some food: no | After a while you get sick and tired of hearing that answer and just start answering for the person, you don't even ask anymore because you know there is a lurking: no just waiting to answer you back.

I just wish I knew how to better deal with these kinds of things or maybe even to prevent them from happening all together.  Sigh, at least I have a trip coming up.  Travel always cheers me up, especially when it is longer than a couple of days.

This post probably sounds strange but I really don't want to include details or make it easy to identify who I am talking about.  I just need an outlet to "talk" to at the moment and since there is no one else around that can listen, I am using Blogger as my outlet.  I also don't want a ton of people feeling sorry for me either, that is not what this post is about, so I am disabling comments for this post as well.  Don't worry about me though, I'll cope, I always do...