Monday, April 6, 2009

Quarter Life Crisis?

Well, I am turning 25 at the end of the week and I don't know if it is that, that is causing me to be somewhat depressed or what.  There have really been a lot of things on my mind lately.  I saw the movie "I love you Man" on Monday and it was a really funny movie and I like it but wow, that guy is kinda like me...I never really had a "best friend" and it was always hard for me to make friends.  Now I do have friends, good friends, but just never someone that has been my best friend.  At least the main character in the movie makes up for the fact that he did not have any friends by having lots of girlfriends well me on the other hand do not currently nor have I ever really had a girlfriend.  It seems like 25 is a little old to never have had a girlfriend...  I get asked by my family over and over again, "when are you going to get a girlfriend," like I'm trying to stay single...I would love to have someone to be close with but I am either "too nice" or "just a friend."  I am tired of those answers and people making it like I don't have a girlfriend by some choice of mine really just makes things worse.  I HATE it when I get asked that question, I really do.  The other thing that scares me is my one friend who is really the only friend who I consistently see and hang out with on a regular basis will be moving away in a few months.  When I sit and think about it, I am going to be lost without him.  Almost all of my weekends involve going out at least one of the nights with him, not to mention the fact that he is also my lifting partner.  Who else am I going to get to challenge me at the gym and not let me settle for a mediocre performance?

Another scary thought is that I am going to be done with college in August.  For as much as I complain about CMU taking up so much of my time, really, what am I going to do with all of my extra time when it is over?  All of my CMU friends will be gone, most of my Pitt friends will be either gone or married, and my high school friends and I are now just living different lives.  I guess I am going to be forced into growing up...I am even thinking about buying a townhouse or condo once I graduate and getting a dog.  I keep on having these visions of myself as being a lonely old man who no one really cares about.  Sure I might get visitors on holidays and my birthday, but other than that, just me, myself, and I.  Man, I really hope I am wrong about this.  I am even starting to not like living on my own anymore.  I would not mind trying to find a roommate just so I can have someone to talk to.

All I know is that my life is about to come to a major crossroads and I just hope that I choose the right path and that I will have some good company along the way.

Okay, that is enough of that depressing stuff, lets talk about my day today...

This morning I started out by making some pancakes and coffee.  Both were good, I just with I had some syrup for the pancakes.

I waited for it to get a little warmer then I brought by book and went to the park to do some reading.  There is this one spot in Schenley Park where you can see Downtown and Oakland.  It makes for a really nice backdrop to just lay in the grass and have something nice to look at.  I took a panoramic picture, but it really does not due the space justice, you really have to go and see this for yourself.

It was in the mid-60s today and just felt great to lie there in the sun.  It just feels so good to have the sun shining on you, there is no other feeling like it.

I even got a bit of a tan today.  I still can't believe that it is going to snow on Tuesday!

Tonight I was really in the mood for some Mexican so I used my free birthday dinner from Big Burrito Group and went to Mad Mex with Steve.  It really hit the spot.  It was also good to catch up with Steve.  I haven't really had a chance to talk to him in a while.

Once I got home it was such a nice night I did not want to go inside already so I went for a little ride with the top down blasting some music.  Man, did that make me feel good.  I was and still am in such a good mood after that.

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